| new. |
[21 Dec 2007|10:46pm] |
new livejournal. new change, new new new.
i'm clicking the refresh button.
username: technoxlogic
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| love, love, love. |
[15 Apr 2007|06:26pm] |
i haven't updated in awhile.
nothing much has changed.
i still love all of you bitches though.
<3333
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| Is it worth it? |
[10 Oct 2006|04:20am] |
is it worth it?
I just finished watching an episode of Nip/Tuck where the surgeons take on a patient who wants a complete facial reconstruction. Her husband has Alzheimer's and can't recogize his aging wife, but he still cligns on to a photograph of her in earlier years, mourning the fact she never comes to visit him. In reality, she hasn't missed a day with him, but he has absolutely no idea who she is now. The doctors take her on as a client and complete the surgery successfully. However, when she goes to visit her husband with her new face, his disease has progressed even further and still has no idea who she is and he even sports a new girlfriend. The doctor offers to take her away to dinner instead, but she states that she would rather stay with her husband and his girlfriend.
This situation had me thinking...is love worth it? Is it worth spending the rest of your days with someone who doesn't recognize you? Someone who needs to be taken care of constantly, and can't be left alone? My grandfather took care of my grandmother after she was diagnosed with Parkinson's about 20 years ago. When I was growing up, I didn't know anything else. I knew to leave Grandma alone, don't talk to her much, don't touch her, in fact...just ignore her. She was tiny, tinier than me, and my Grandpa carried her everywhere. At first they could visit our house, and more often our visits were to their house. It wasn't sad, depressing, or anything truly emotional to me or my sister, it was what we knew. We were essentially watching her die, and my Grandpa was there every step of the way. Neither of them left the house for 10 years, they didn't even get a nurse. She was carried to bed, and sleeping required numerous pills. Finally, one day she just kept sleeping. When she died, I didn't really feel anything. Was it really going to be different now that she was gone? I cried, of course, but I was young and never experienced death before. We didn't cry because she was gone now, we cried becuase she never really was there, death just confirmed it.
So is love really worth it all?
Yes.
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| Birthday... |
[02 Sep 2006|12:19pm] |
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I am getting this camera for my birthday and I am SOOO excited. I love photography sooo much. It should come pretty soon...
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| IQ |
[06 Aug 2006|12:32pm] |
Dear Kathryn,
Thank you for your interest in the test at IQTest.com.
Your general IQ score is: 125
---
Oh snap! Not too shabby, eh?
IQ graph thingy
Ch-ch-ch-check it out.
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| Swimming... |
[29 Jul 2006|03:57pm] |
I took my cousin's swimming today, it was fun for them, but I didn't want to be there in the first place. I'm going to a show tonight, at 8 for Alex's band. I'm going with Kristin, who is the first person I'd go to a show with, 'cause she's awesome. I've been feeling really down and lonely lately, and friends haven't been helping. Dan, the gorgeous BRITISH guy I met at the pool cheered me up soooo much on Friday...but I don't know if I'll be able to see him again. Hopefully he will be there on Monday... I've told most of you about these guys, but Amy hasn't so here is the lowdown Ammers: Young, hot, british guys who run the local Eurosoccer camp go to the pool when I'm there for work. The one who is attracted to me is PERFECT. Hot, charismatic, hilarious, outspoken, flirtatious (with me). I caught him staring at me and I smiled and he smiled and we smiled at each other for more than an awkward moment... Anyways, I'd marry this guy except I don't know his last name. Sorry I'm not online BTW amyyyy it's 'cause I gotta get ready for the concert :p I'll talk to you after I get back, hopefully.
kaffykakes
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| OMG so tired. |
[17 Jul 2006|12:03am] |
Good gawd I am tired. I am also repainting my room a pretty color. It looks fairly clean, except the piles of laundry on the floor. And on the bed.
There is no point to this post, but whatev.
gabba gabba hey,
kathrynnnn
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[28 Jun 2006|12:02am] |
I answered these questions by putting my Ipod on shuffle and starting at the beginning and for each question, pressing "next". A surprising amount of them kind of made sense!
Will I get far in life?
"Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" - Marilyn Monroe {I'm guessing 'not'}
How do my friends see me?
"Wild Child" - Enya {It is a logical answer, but at this moment doesn't apply to me because all I do is work and watch movies and play Xbox}
Where will I get married?
"Mambo Italiano" - Rosemary Clooney {Sounds romantic!}
What is my best friend's theme song?
"Rose Tint My World" - Rocky Horror Picture Show
What is the story of my life?
"Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous" - Good Charlotte {WHAT THE FUCK? Why do I even have them on my Ipod? I hope it's true though!}
What's high school like?
"We Are the Champions" - Green Day at the Live 8 Benefit concert {I guess?}
How can I get ahead in life?
"Me & Bobby McGee" - Janis Joplin {Judging on the lyrics in this song, by sitting in a truck singing songs...I've got the truck part covered, and the singing songs part, although not well!}
What is the best thing about me?
'Ummm, Hellllooo?' - Dane Cook {Ummmm...not a lot?)
What is today going to be like?
"Hella Good" - No Doubt {LOLLERSKATES}
What is in store for this weekend?
"Sex and Candy" - Marcy Playground {I SWEAR TO ALLAH THIS IS WHAT CAME UP. Damn, my Ipod is pretty pyschic!}
What song describes my parents?
"I Wanna be Loved By You" -Marilyn Monroe {AWWWW}
To describe my grandparents?
"Nutcracker Suite, Op. 71a: Chinese Dance" -Peter Llyich Tchaikovsky {They aren't chinese, but they are NUTS!}
How is my life going?
"Goodbye to You" - Michelle Branch {Well this stinks}
What song will they play at my funeral?
"For Me and My Gal" - Judy Garland {I'M NOT A LESBIAN}
How does the world see me?
"Varvara Pavlovna" - Vanessa Paradis. {From what I understand, Varvara Pavlovna is a character in a Russian book Home of the Gentry about some dude who marries that chick who gets obsessed with Parisian frivolity and the dude finds out she has an affair, and he goes and falls in love with another chick only to find out original chick, Varvara Pavlovna, didn't REALLY have an affair, the newspapers lied.}
Will I have a happy life?
"Sweet Transvestite" - Rocky Horror Picture Show {Fuuuuuck.}
What do my friends really think of me?
"Flora's Secret" - Enya {They think I'm Mother Nature who makes lovers fall more deeply in love? PSHHHH I WISH...but not really}
Do people secretly lust after me?
Suerte (Whenever, Whereever) - Shakira {Am I supposed to feel complimented or insulted?}
How can I make myself happy?
"Get Down with the Sickness" - Richard Cheese {Ugh no please, this song was in a zombie movie}
What should I do with my life?
"Bridge over Troubled Water" - Fiona Apple {Jump?}
Will I ever have children?
"Once Upon a December" - Disney Songs {Hurrah?}
What will you name them?
"Super" - South Park Soundtrack {So either 'Super' or 'Big Gay Al'...hmmm....}
Who will you marry?
"Roxie" - Chicago Soundtrack {HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY THAT I AM NOT A LESBO}
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
"The Little Old Lady from Pasadena" - Jan & Dean {GAHHHHHHHHH}
Good Lord.
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| Let's talk about sex. |
[25 Jun 2006|11:19pm] |
Tonights topic is SEX, and why I think it should be all right for people to have SEX in public.
From the moment we are born, generally humans are taught that our genitals are PRIVATE and need to be covered AT ALL TIMES except under certain circumstances. Those particular situations are A) when bathing, B) when changing, and later in life C) when reproducing in the privacy of one's own home/apartment/box on the street. Mothers and fathers alike retaliate against logic and make up completely fucking stupid names such as "wee-wee" "pee-pee". They re-enforce the notion of keeping things 'under wrap' by called genitals "privates." Now, I am not blaming parents per ce, they are taught by their parents and society, who was taught by their parents, etc. ever since man (and I use this term loosely) first invented the loincloth. I thought a vagina was really called fagina thanks to watching Austin Powers before I even knew what a vagina was. That doesn't have too much relevence, but if I throw in something about myself, supposedly the audience can relate better...or some bullshit like that.
ANYWAYS.
If we could have sex in public, sex would not be veiwed so much as gross, bad, naughty, dirty, etc. and kids could grow up not being embarrassed by nude scenes when watching a movie with parents.
And we all know that a situation like that is worst than death.
xoxoxkathrynnnnn
P.S. I watched 'TransAmerica' tonight, and if you ever get a chance to watch that with your parents...don't.
P.P.S. KRISTIN AND I GET TO GO SEE LEWIS BLACK NEXT SATURDAY AT TAHOE! OMGSOEXCITED
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| some advice |
[03 Jun 2006|01:21pm] |
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centipede + sneaker = squished two inch long bug carcass stuck on your wall.
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| I WANT I WANT |
[29 May 2006|10:35pm] |
If I could have anything in the world it would be THIS.
Oh my god, it's so beautiful. Imagine all the stuff I could do. I orgasmed just looking at it, and had a heart attack when I saw the price tag.
I am setting aside funds.
So far I have:
...........
33.12
In cash.
3,666.87 to go.
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| survey ish thing |
[29 May 2006|12:36am] |
Comment with your name, and:
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.
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| Don't be a hypnotist if you can't do your job right. |
[27 May 2006|02:18pm] |
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On Safe and Sober Grad Night, we had lots of fun until about 3. Katie and I were trying to sleep on these comfy benches but we couldn't so we go play Dance Dance Revolution (I know, WTF? I played like two rounds but it was annoying) At 4, this hypnotist show ended, but the guy did a shitty job of reviving these girls and so five or six of these were passing out, seizuring, colvulsing, screaming in agony...it was really freaky. We couldn't leave and were delayed for an hour after we were supposed to which sucked but I hope the girls are OK. I slept from 6 am until 2:00 pm and I'm still tired and sore in my back area. I hope you all are well, I'm excited to finally be graduated.
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[21 May 2006|01:30pm] |
I AM: Stressed and wearing a pirate shirt with rips in it and sheep slippers from James. Not exactly the cover of Vogue, but I'm comfy.
I SAID: I would never cry in front of people, and I still haven't.
I WANT: children and a successful career.
I WISH: I could open a store.
I HATE: hearing my voice and having people critisize my writing (not essays but for-fun writings). As much as I need corrections, every time someone says something negative about it, I feel I lost something.
I MISS: being able to not care about what people thought, and my dance classes.
I FEAR: my kids will grow up in a society of intolerance and I will never be a great writer.
I HEAR: not very well.
I WONDER: if I could ever be a writer.
I REGRET: letting go.
I AM NOT: as stupid as you think I am.
I DANCE: way too much.
I SING: better alone.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: as nice as you think I am.
I MADE: it to the end of school!
I WRITE: parallel to my emotions.
I CONFUSE: words when I talk and stutter sometimes and I make fun of it but when other people make fun of me when I'm having difficulty speaking I get embarrassed and it really pisses me off.
I NEED: to relax.
I SHOULD: exercise more.
I START: tons of projects, but.........
I FINISH: less than half of them.
I BELIEVE: in loving everyone until you meet them. Then you can hate them.
I KNOW: nothing is for sure except math.
I CAN: read upside down very well.
I CAN’T: touch my toes.
I SEE: poorly, but I just got out of glasses so I'm refusing to go back to the optomistrist.
I BLOG: when I am feeling emotional.
I READ: lots of books? and magazines.
I AM AROUSED BY: oh lord, lots of things.
IT PISSES ME OFF: when people lie about stupid things (white lies are fine, I really don't care), treat me or my friends like crap, when people disrespect other people's cultures in a non-funny way.
I FIND: I am happier when it rains.
I LIKE: solving puzzles.
I LOVE: music and people who play it, movies and people who appreciate them, and I love the children.
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| Lewis Black and Retards. |
[15 May 2006|05:13pm] |
Conversations with Melanie.
ohprettyinside: remember the lewis black thingy where he said he couldn't complete a thought because it was so cold
ohprettyinside: IT'S LIKE THAT
ohprettyinside: ONLY WITH THE HEAT
GreenPea154: lol
GreenPea154: yup
ohprettyinside: hmmm...i think i'll---FUCK IT'S HOT
ohprettyinside: i think you qualify for down syndrome
GreenPea154: lmao
GreenPea154: i have the mental capacity of a portuguese water poodle
ohprettyinside: at least the poodle can do tricks
GreenPea154: ouch
GreenPea154: my pride
ohprettyinside: Whoosh! Up goes my ego!
Melanie, you are slightly on the retarded side with a slice of cool and a hint of sexy.
I'd love to roll you in dough and bake YOU in a pie.
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| TOO MUCH CHORES! |
[08 May 2006|05:25pm] |
MY GOD!
ohprettyinside: sorry i have TWO thank you cards to do
GreenPea154: oh shit man
GreenPea154: thats crazy
ohprettyinside: i know
ohprettyinside: what the hell do they think i am?
ohprettyinside: a damn monkey?
ohprettyinside: THIS IS ANARCHY
Fo' sho.
PROM=AWESOME.
I didn't get laid :_(
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| Oh my goodness |
[08 May 2006|07:37am] |
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I'm addicted...to Rage Against the Machine. What? Whatever happened to the nice little white girl I used to be?
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| What? |
[02 May 2006|10:57pm] |
I hate to say this, but for the first time in my life, my family is poor. We've normally been pretty well off, but because of chemo, car troubles, and now our house has termites which will cost another few thousand we don't have...I'm scared. We used to buy like 200 dollars of groceries every weekend and our house had so much food. We now have food that other people have bought or cooked for us...no wonder christmas sucked ass this year. I sound really horrible, and maybe I am horrible...but I don't want to be poor. My mom has enough stress already and she won't accept any of my money (I have a few thousand in the bank that I've saved up) and my dad is working more than ever. Even my MOM is working and she is still going through chemo WTF. I don't want to lose the house, it's going to be my house, and maybe even my baby's house when I have 'em. Over this summer I need to work so much and get modeling jobs so that I can get the money back.
They spent thousands (over 6000) for me to model, and I haven't earned jackshit. I feel really guilty, like it's my fault we are going to be in debt. I wish I knew this before so I could apply for a scholarship.
At least we haven't actually gone into poverty, we are certainly getting there quickly. I'm trying to save gas so much because it's so expensive now. Blegh. Good thing it is almost summer.
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| Whatttt. |
[30 Apr 2006|06:08pm] |
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Today I went shopping with my mom. We had a nice time and talked a whole lot, and I opened up. I've never noticed before, but people treat cancer patients way different. My mom wears hats that you can just tell she has cancer, and she gets treated (usually) nicer. The rest of today was nice, the weather was good and I helped Katie with her project which helped me, also. Our neighbors came over with lasagna and I am excited to eat it. I'm feeling a bit melancholy right now and a little upset, but I really don't care because I'm working on my projects and homework and getting stuff done, woo!
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